A Charlie Brown Kwanza
Night Before Midterms
The Tainted Gallery
Kellan D. L. H.
The Bob Chronicles
Billy man stupid face
How to Write a Novel
Crapbag's Corner
Guest Book

These stories were written by Kellan Head in his Spanish notebook during a less-than-interesting Spanish class. They depict the aberrantly multiple perverse deaths of a man named Bob.

Note: No people named Bob were hurt physically or mentally during the making of these. .... (well, maby ,mentally)

The 1st Incident

     Bob stood, gazing out of the stain glass window that had been built in the attic overlooking the paved driveway. He stood, admiring the fine grounds working that bordered that edge of the pavement when he was suddenly pushed forward from behind. The glass broke, giving way for him to fall, sprawling in mid air. Bob soon impacted with the driveway beneath. The hit had chipped off half of his skull and pieces of his brain matter were dripping out. His foot lay beside his ear, in a grotesque position. He peered up with what little life he had left to see a man standing behind the broken window. The man then walked away, disturbing the broken shards of glass that still lined the edge of the window frame. A somewhat large piece swayed for a few second and then came speeding down towards Bob. The glass whizzed through the air, along with Bob’s neck, cutting it clean off. The now bloodied glass pane lay in a pool of blood. Bob’s remains of his head rolled down the driveway, and landed in the gutter, where the remainder of its contents fell out.


The 2nd Incident

     Bob was in his science lab, completing the rest of his work for the day. He was gathering up his papers when the door suddenly burst open. Three large men dressed in black boldly walked inside. Bob fled, and cowered in a corner as the men entered. Without hesitation, one of them grabbed a scalpel from a table as he walked towards Bob and stabbed him in the eye. Bob’s blood soaked eye fell out of its socket as he dropped to his knees, clutching his wound. He screamed with pain, and blood pouring from the hole as the scalpel dropped to the floor covered in red liquid. Another of the men picked it back up and effortlessly thrust it between Bob’s ribs. He let out another scream as he fell yet again, now lying on his side. The other two men grabbed hold of his limp, yet still alive body and dragged him onto a table in the middle of the room. The other man searched the contents of Bob’s scientific material until he lifted a beaker of clear liquid. Bob recognized it instantly. Pure Hydrochloric Acid. Bob tried to break free of the restraining arms that held him, but to no success. The man with the beaker emptied it on Bob’s mutilated body. More agonizing screams soon followed as the chemical ripped away at Bob’s skin. When the chemical had finished it’s job, Bob’s lifeless body lay on the table with what skin it had left hanging off of the decaying muscles.

The 3rd Incident

Bob was in the hardware store, looking for new tools. He was in the screwdriver isle, standing next to another customer. Bob had a screw in his had when the man next to him sporadically grabbed an available screwdriver, and drove it into Bob’s neck as he dove towards him. Bob instantly fell on his knees gasping for breath and groping at the tool that was lodged in his neck. A pool of blood began to form around him as the man grasped the screwdriver and pulled it from Bob’s body. More blood began to pour out of the open wound. His eyes poled back in his head as a low pitched tone came out of Bob; more desperate attempts to get air. The man took advantage of this and thrusted the screwdriver into his open mouth. The head of the weapon burst through the back of Bob’s head, and spurted blood all over the isle and shelves. Bob fell to the ground, weak with pain. Suddenly he felt to pairs of arms grasp him and lift him to his feet and lean him against the nearby counter. HT men that had helped him up now pulled out from behind their backs two red hot sautering irons. The men approached him casually and raised the hot ticks of metal. Bob fell weak. He could hear the sizzling of the weapons as the men drew nearer. They then jabbed them into each of Bob’s ears. For only a second he could hear the boiling of blood until his eardrums were pierced and his hearing lost. Although the wound was instantly cauterized, there was still some cranial secretion that leaked out of the malignity. Bob tried to scream, but he could not make a sound. Yet again the men dressed in black grabbed him by his shoulders, and dragged him to the corner of the room. While Bob was being moved, the sautering irons, now crusted with burnt organic matter, fell out of what used to be his ears. The men dropped him down in front of the drill press, and turned it on. He felt he vibrations of the machine as they lifted his head up towards the spinning drill. They placed his blood soaked skull on the platform under the blade. Bob used the rest of the energy to open his eyes and saw the drill bit being lower closer and closer to him. He could feel the rotating blade pierce his skin, until he finally blacked out. From the other side of the room, one could hear the painful sound of metal against bone. Streams of blood and gore were erupting from the new hole in Bob’s head. When finally finished, Bob’s body slouched onto the floor, in a stew of brain matter and blood.


The 4th Incident

Bob was mowing his lawn one day with a push mower, wiping the sweat off his brow.  He was getting very thirsty, and went to the door of his house to go inside and get something to drink.  As he was passing the bushes by his front door, a man in black jumped out and stabbed him from behind the leg.  The blade severed the tendon and pierced his knee cap.  Bob shrieked in pain. Blood from the cut artery was gushing out on both sides.  He fell to the ground, as the man ran away.  Wet from the blood soaked grass around him and unable to stand up, He crawled to the front door with periodical gasps and moans.  The still attached knife, occasionally getting caught on the ground, caused Bob unbearable pain as it rubbed a scraped at his exposed bones.  He managed to grab hold of the door knob with one hand while supporting himself with the other.  Bob sat up, twisted the door knob, and opened the door.  At that instant a large wooden log suspended by rope was hurled through the air directly at his face.  Bob did not have time to think before it made contact his feeble body.  He was knocked backwards, feel in the air, almost 2 yards.  His skull and nose had shattered on impact, and tiny bone fragments had penetrated his eye, no longer enabling him to see.  The lower half of his face, consisting of his jaw lay beside him in the grass.  Blood spewed from his exposed innards.  It trickled down the small hill that he was on into a depression in the lawn.  He could hear approaching footsteps coming in his direction.  They suddenly stopped, and Bob could sense that a figure was standing over him.  He could hear the swinging of an axe blade just before his head rolled off into the nearby street.

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