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FOR OVER 30 YEARS A MAN BY THE NAME OF WILLY WONKA HAS BROUGHT JOY TO THE MOUTHES OF CHILDERN EVERYWHERE. NOW, THE
60 YEAR OLD WONKA IS FACING 25 YEARS TO LIFE IN PRISON. THE CHARGES INCLUDE:
-MURDER OF A FAT GERMAN BOY
-RAPE OF A BLUEBERRY SHAPED GIRL
-CREATION OF AN ILLEGAL CONTRACT
-ILLEGAL IMPORTING OF UMPA-LUMPAS
-SLAVERY OF UMPA-LUMPAS
-PROSTITUTION TO UMPA-LUMPAS
-FALSE ADVERTISING (EVERLASTING GOBSTOPPERS)
-POSSESSION OF POT
-OFFERING POT TO A MINOR
-PUBLIC NUDITY
-UNLICENSED OPERATION OF A STEAM BOAT
-UNLICENSED OPERATION OF A SODA CAR
-UNLICENSED OPERATION OF A PROJECTILE ELEVATOR
WONKA DID NOT RESPOND TO QUESTIONS ASKED, BUT HE DID OFFER THIS STATEMENT:
"I WAS ONLY TRYING TO MAKE THE CANDY TASTE BETTER. I LOVE THE CHILDERN, I WOULD NEVER MURDER MOST OF THEM. THOSE
UMPA-LUMPAS WERE NEVER ONE OF MY PIMPING CLIENTS"
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| THESE WERE "NOT" MR. WONKA'S CLIENTS..............SURE |
AFTER AN EARLY HEARING THIS MORNIG, WONKA LOST OWNERSHIP OF ALL OF HIS ASSETS. ACCORDING TO RECENT UPDATES, WONKA RESPONDED:
"JUST LET THEM TRY TO TAKE MY FACTORY. I'LL BLOW THEIR HEADS OFF. THAT WILL TEACH THEM EVIL BUTT FACES. IF THEY CANT
COME IN, THEY WONT FIND MY POT FACTORY! HEEEHEE, WHOOO, HEEEEEE, POT POT POT POT POT COCO FOR POT COCO FOR POT! HEEHEE! BLOW
THEIR HEADS OFF"
mjg
(THATS MIKE YOU FREAKS)
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